who, what, where, WHEN?

Task number one. Date.

We were engaged not even 24 hours and we were asked by EVERYONE we told “when?”. This is a hard question to have answered so quickly. If you know that you’re getting married in three months, that’s one thing, but James is a thinker, and I don’t want to get married in June. Too many birthdays. But June would be a snap decision and we’d be nipples deep in wedding by now.

We both know we need at least a year to get used to the idea (we is a nice way to say “James”) and to plan. I want April 2017, he likes April, but likes 2018 better. We need to come to a compromise before we can start telling people our day.

And on that note, you can’t define your date until you decide if your date in more important than your venue. Some brides dream of a wedding in a grand hotel and sometimes those venues book out more than a year in advance. James and I aren’t looking for something too fancy. I grew up on horseback and I would love to have a more “rustic” feel, barnish. In the lower mainland there are a lot of options in terms of farmland and they’re not commonly booked up so we can pick the time of year we would like (and April is so beautiful!) and work within their schedule (unlike if you REALLY wanted to get married at the Plaza Hotel in New York; you’d have to wait for a bride and groom to break up and steal their spot!).

Another thing to think about when choosing your date is holidays. Some holidays have set dates, like Christmas, New Years, Canada Day; some holidays are on the same weekend every year, like Victoria Day, BC Day, Family Day; and some holidays can’t make up their minds as to when they should happen, case in point: Easter. Easter falls on some weekend at the end of March or in April. You never know when to expect it! It doesn’t care if you want to get married on National Velociraptor Awareness Day. We were talking about getting married on the 15th next year, but it just so happens that the next day is Easter, which is a pain in our butts!

Some people want to get married on a holiday. For 2016, Canada Day Weekend is going to be big – I am already working with 3 or 4 brides for that weekend. There are pros and cons to getting married on a holiday.

Pro: Everyone has an extra day off to visit you!
Con: EVERYONE has an extra day off, thus they are traveling and prices are high to fly. If any of your guests need to travel to get to your big day, their costs are going to be high. This is also important if you’re planning a destination wedding.

Pro: Your anniversary will be easy to remember (unless you get married on Easter, the Schizophrenic Holiday)
Con: You have to share your special day with a holiday, you won’t necessarily be the first thing on people’s minds: including your husband to be’s.  

I’m kinda out of pros… you can probably guess that I’m not a fan of holiday weddings myself. A few other cons include: Higher vendor and venue costs due to the fact that these people are going to have to pay their employees stat pay, higher delivery costs if you need to have anything brought to you (at my rental company, we charge $300 extra each way for a holiday delivery!), and if you and your sweetie want to travel on your anniversary, you can count on inflated flight costs, lower hotel availability, and ugh. Easter.

Another thing to consider is birthdays and families’ travel plans. Lets say you wanted to get married on June 26th (my birthday!) and you wanted me to be your maid of honor. What are the odds that I really want to celebrate my birthday in the shadow of a beautiful bride like yourself? Actually, they’d be pretty good, I love weddings! But not everyone will feel that way. Take into consideration your close family and friends before choosing your date, make sure that if your date falls on someone’s birthday, they would still want to attend and take part in your festivities.

As for family travel plans, what if you choose a date, started booking everything, then told your parents only to find out they were going to South America for a month. Hopefully you’d know about these travel plans. Think about the people you would really want to have with you and check in with those people (and those people only!) to make sure they haven’t already paid a non-refundable deposit on a once in a lifetime trip! James’ parents are going to the Galapagos Islands next March. What if we had settled on a date only to find out that they couldn’t attend. They are very important to our wedding! Be sure to only ask the important people, because who cares if cousin Adam who you haven’t seen since you were 11 can’t come because he’s planning a Euro trip?

James and I are hoping to settle on a date soon (hopefully by Sunday, when we have a site inspection at a farm!), and for now, we’re going to keep telling people “maybe next April, but we’re also talking about 2018”. You need to be truthful with the people who are inquiring, but you don’t need to do anything more. If someone tries to pressure you into making a decision, they are not being helpful.

I hope this little chat was helpful! Tune in next week, we’ll discuss venues and maybe even guest lists!

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